


romance is pretty much dead anyway

by mathgeeksupreme



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 17:43:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathgeeksupreme/pseuds/mathgeeksupreme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's up to library volunteer Andrew Shaw to show single dad Brandon Bollig what he's missing in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	romance is pretty much dead anyway

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silentcs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentcs/gifts).



Natalie is on the verge of a temper tantrum—Brandon can see the downturned corners of her mouth and the hands curled into tiny fists. Brandon also does not have the time to deal with a four-year-old’s meltdown. Glancing at the clock and internally cringing—he’s going to be late to his meeting with his boss—he scoops up his daughter as she begins sobbing loudly and hauls her towards the garage, where he deposits her into her cushy car seat and fastens her in.

 

He may or may not have broken a couple traffic laws as he speeds towards the public library. Natalie continues to sob, “But Daddy, I don’t _wanna_ go! Why can’t I just play with my dolls? I’ll be quiet, I promise!”

 

Unfortunately, Brandon has learned first-hand that Natalie’s promise of “being quiet” means she’ll constantly be fighting for his attention as he Skypes his boss. Rather than deal with her tugging at his leg, attempting to jump in his lap, and screaming in the background, Brandon’s decided to take Jonny’s advice to let her attend the library’s daily “Reading with Kids” program.

 

“Hey now, Uncle Jonny’s kid Lawrence is going to be there. You like Lawrence, right?” Brandon attempts to placate. “Plus, I thought you liked to read. We do it together every night, remember?”

 

“But Daddy, I only like it when _you_ read to me,” Natalie hiccups, before a fresh round of tears and repeated demands for her dolls.

 

Brandon pulls into the parking lot of the library just as Natalie’s wailing is beginning to fade. He hurries into the building with her cradled in his arms while she hiccups softly into his shirt. The librarian sitting at the reference desk looks up when he walks in, and before he can even open his mouth to ask a question she points at a large sign that says, “Reading with Kids: 2:30 pm,” and below that, “Today’s reader: Andrew Shaw,” and an arrow directing him towards a room lined with big glass windows.

 

When he’s inside, the room’s partially filled with ten or so kids and an older kid with a scruffy beard—late teens or early twenties maybe?—sitting at the front. The program hasn’t started yet, so Brandon heads towards the front of the room, where he sets Natalie down and extends a hand to quickly introduce himself and his daughter.

 

Andrew grips his hand in a firm handshake— _good_ , Brandon thinks—before grinning up at him and saying, “Hey, I’m Andrew, but you can call me Shawzy.” He peers down at Natalie, who’s attached herself to Brandon’s leg. “And you must be Natalie. Is this your first time here?”

 

She responds by ducking her face behind Brandon, which sucks because Brandon has to go, _now_. “I’m so sorry, and I hate to do this to you, but I have to run,” Brandon apologizes to Andrew as he detaches Natalie from his side. She looks like she has just enough energy in her to give the sobbing another go. “Natalie, please _please_ be good for Mr. Shawzy over here, alright? I have to go work now, but I’ll be back in a bit to pick you up.”

 

Andrew looks unfazed, as if he deals with harried parents and their crying children on a regular basis. “Don’t worry, we’ll have lots of fun today Natalie, _without_ your Daddy,” he whispers conspiratorially. “Look, we’re reading Junie B. Jones today. It’s a really good book.”

 

Brandon is pretty reassured because he reads Junie B. Jones to Natalie sometimes and she thinks the books are hilarious. He bends down and presses a quick kiss to Natalie’s head before apologizing again to Andrew and practically running out.

 

***

 

When Brandon returns, he’s praying that Natalie didn’t throw another tantrum. Fortunately, when he approaches the reading room, he sees Natalie reading along with Andrew through the glass. The two of them look up when Brandon enters the room. “Daddy!” Natalie calls as she scrambles to get up, hurtling herself towards him.

 

“Hey Nat,” Brandon says as he hefts her up. She’s grinning pretty wide, and it’s clear that she ended up having a good time despite her earlier reluctance. “Did you have fun? Were you good to Mr. Shawzy over here?”

 

“I had lots of fun, Daddy,” Natalie informs him, just as Andrew says, “Just Shawzy, sir.” The kid’s smiling at them, and Brandon swears he must be a miracle worker if he’s still able to smile at them after dealing with a post-meltdown Natalie.

 

“Hey, seriously, thanks for taking care of my kid while I had to run out,” Brandon tells him. “And it’s Brandon, Shawzy, not sir.”

 

“Brandon, got it. And Natalie was a great kid to read to, weren’t you, Natalie?” She nods vigorously.

 

It’s a bit odd that none of the other children are left. “Where are all the other kids?” Brandon asks. “Did they all leave early?”

 

Andrew just stares at him. “The program ended half an hour ago,” he says slowly. “We’ve been waiting for you for a while.”

 

“Shi—shoot,” Brandon corrects in time. “It’s four, isn’t it? I thought the program lasted for an hour and a half?”

 

“Nope, just an hour. Natalie and I entertained ourselves here for a while, since she said you were a slowpoke who was usually late to pick her up.”

 

“God, I’m really sorry. It’s just been a really hectic day, between my meetings and—“

 

“It’s no problem, Brandon,” Andrew interrupts, before smirking at him playfully. “You can easily make it up me by buying me coffee.”

 

Brandon’s a little thrown by the direction of the conversation and the cocky grin Andrew’s giving him. “Huh?” he asks, intelligently. “I mean, uh, sure.”

 

Andrew shrugs. “I’m a poor college student, and it’s almost finals week. I was going to grab some coffee after my volunteering shift before I hunkered down to study, but since your tardiness held me up, the least you could do is buy my cup of coffee before I head off.”

 

“Can we go to Starbucks, Daddy?” Natalie chimes in, squirming in his arms in excitement.

 

“Sure,” Brandon agrees, then turns back towards Andrew. “There’s a Starbucks right across the street—uh, do you want to walk over with us?”

 

“Sure, just let me grab my stuff,” Andrew says. He retrieves a heavy-looking gray backpack from the corner of the room—Brandon guesses it’s filled with textbooks—and they head out.

 

***

 

Andrew’s a little surprised Brandon actually agreed to pay for his coffee, but hey, he’s not complaining. He’s not ashamed to admit that his first thoughts upon seeing the burly man enter the room were slightly less-than-decent. Between the warm if harried smile, the thick, dark beard, and the sculpted muscles bulging out of Brandon’s tight Henley, Andrew didn’t feel he could be blamed if his gaze lingered a little longer on the man than strictly appropriate.

 

Still, Andrew isn’t oblivious to the fact that Brandon _has a four-year-old daughter_ and forces himself to keep his thoughts PG. Said daughter is currently chattering away happily at her father as they wait at the crosswalk for the light to change.

 

“And then, the teacher told Junie B. that she had to get glasses, and she didn’t like that,” Natalie informed her dad.

 

“I’m sure she didn’t,” Brandon agreed placidly. He shot Andrew a half-grin and gave a little shrug, as if to say, ‘What can you do about kids?’ Andrew helplessly smiles back at him. The light finally changes, and Brandon sternly instructs Natalie to hold his hand as they cross—Andrew guesses it’s been a problem in the past—and Natalie obeys, though probably reluctantly judging by the way she looks like she’s about to break out in a sprint any moment.

 

“She’s a good kid,” Andrew comments.

 

Brandon chuckles at that. “That’s because you weren’t there for her meltdown right before I dropped her off at the library. Did she cry at all after I left?”

 

“Nah, after I told her we’d be reading Junie B. Jones and I’d let her sit in the front row since it’s her favorite book series, she calmed down.”

 

“Thanks for handling that, by the way,” Brandon says.

 

“It was no big deal,” Andrew shrugs. They reach the Starbucks at the corner of the street, and Andrew pauses to open the door for his companions.

 

“Say thank you,” Brandon orders, which Natalie dutifully does. God, Andrew never knew he could find good parenting so attractive.

 

“Anyway, what’d you have to get to that had you running out of there so quickly?” Andrew asks, curious.

 

Brandon groans. “Meeting with the boss,” he explains. “I was a couple minutes late, which he wasn’t too happy about, but at least he didn’t have to deal with this little terror here causing a ruckus,” Brandon says, ruffling Natalie’s hair.

 

“’m not a little terror,” Natalie pouts. “Daddy, I want the hot chocolate.”

 

The cashier takes their order, and Brandon might raise an eyebrow at Andrew’s choice of a green tea Frappuccino, but the look Andrew shoots him just _dares_ Brandon to make a comment. After Brandon pays, he asks if Andrew has time to stick around, “So I can properly thank you for sticking around when you didn’t need to,” Brandon says guiltily. “But if you have studying you need to get to, that’s fine too.”

 

As if Andrew would choose writing a final paper for his English class over spending time with a hot, hopefully single, dad (Andrew may or may not have noticed the distinct lack of a ring on Brandon’s left hand) and his adorable daughter. “Nah, I’d love to stick around,” Andrew says. “But if you need to leave for work, that’s understandable,” he tacks on a bit reluctantly, as his mother would be ashamed if he wasn’t being considerate of other people’s time.

 

“Nope, that meeting was the last thing left for work today,” Brandon says to him, smiling. They collect their drinks at the end of the counter and Brandon leads them to a relatively secluded table in the corner. The Starbucks is only moderately crowded, and it’s not at all hard to converse over bustle of the whistling espresso machines and the clacking of laptop keys several tables away.

 

“What do you do for work anyway?” Andrew asks when they settle in at their spot. Natalie immediately sets upon slurping away at her hot chocolate—Brandon frowns at her but doesn’t say anything.

 

“I’m a computer programmer. It’s easier to take care of a kid that way, since I get to write my software programs from home,” Brandon says.

 

“I don’t mean to pry, but her mom doesn’t help you with that stuff?”

 

“We got divorced a couple years ago, and she moved back to Russia when I stayed here. I have full custody since we wanted Natalie to grow up in the States,” Brandon explains. “Anyway, what about you? How’d you end up getting involved with the Reading for Kids program?”

 

 “I was a trouble kid in high school,” Andrew admits. “Judge ordered me some community service hours, the library needed someone, so I volunteered. Turns out I love kids, and now I work as a babysitter and I’m in college on track to major in elementary education.”

 

Brandon gives him a somewhat skeptical look. “Teenage delinquent reforms and becomes an elementary school teacher?”

 

Andrew shrugs. “It’s not that weird. And besides, all the people that I beat up in high school definitely deserved it,” he says with a somewhat wicked smirk.

 

Brandon scoffs. “You, beat up people? Aren’t you a bit small for that?” he says teasingly.

 

“Hey!” Andrew hotly objects. “I’ll have you know that I held my own, and the other guy always walked away looking worse than I did.”

 

“I’m sure they did,” Brandon agrees, though the way he leans back against his chair and the disbelief in his tone of voice makes it clear that Brandon’s only humoring him. “I guess it’s fine as long as you’re not beating up your students.”

 

“Shawzy doesn’t do that, Daddy,” Natalie interjects. It looks like she’s finished her hot chocolate and has been entertaining herself by playing with the paper straw wrappers, which is now strewn in pieces across the table. “He’d be a good teacher. He’s a good reader, and I like it when he does the voices when he reads.”

 

“Thanks Natalie,” Andrew tells her. “I’m glad someone here appreciates my talent.” He smirks at Brandon, who only rolls his eyes.

 

The conversation wanders organically between Andrew’s college life (“Junior year’s tougher than I thought it’d be,” Andrew admits), Brandon’s experience growing up (“Bumfuck Missouri wasn’t the most exciting childhood,” Brandon laments), and their shared enjoyment of hockey (“I wish more Americans were into the sport,” Brandon mourns, to which Andrew enthusiastically agrees). It’s only when Natalie begins making increasingly noisy protests about how hungry she is, tugging insistently at Brandon’s sleeve now that she’s out of straw wrapper to entertain herself with, that Andrew realizes over an hour has passed. “Sorry, I should probably go, since I still need to make dinner for her when we get back,” Brandon apologizes reluctantly as he gets up.

 

“My English paper beckons,” Andrew groans. “Thanks for the coffee, Brandon.”

 

“No problem at all. And hey, do you want my number? In case I’m late again—unfortunately, Natalie was right when she says that sometimes I just lose track of time,” Brandon says sheepishly. “You can call or text or whatever to let me know that I need to get to the library right away.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Andrew digs his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it, and hands it over to Brandon, who types in his number. Andrew can hardly believe it—he didn’t even have to employ the somewhat far-fetched excuses he’d come up with to get the guy’s number (“Brandon, if Natalie gets kidnapped by a wild bear, I’ll need your number to reach you so you can come and rescue her!”) Instead, Brandon _offered_ it to him.

 

“Shoot me a text with your name so I have your number too,” Brandon tells him.

 

After they part, Andrew heads back to his dorm, where he spends several minutes writing and rewriting his text to Brandon. After a fierce internal debate, he decides that: no, an exclamation mark might come off as too eager; yes, a smiley face is entirely appropriate to include; no, propositioning for sex is a bad idea.

 

He eventually settles on “ _hey, this is andrew from the library_ ” and puts his phone away, determined not to look at it. It pings when he pulls up his essay on his laptop, and when Andrew checks it, the text reads, _hey andrew from the library :)_.

 

_What a dork_ , Andrew snorts, shoots off a quick reply asking what Brandon’s making for dinner, and settles in to grind out a 5,000 word paper analyzing the significance of letters in _Sense and Sensibility_.

 

***

 

Without Brandon meaning to, the coffee becomes a regular thing. (“Hey, you bought me coffee last time,” Andrew points out at the next library reading session despite Brandon’s protests that the coffee was in thanks and not meant to be paid back. “Anyway, it might not even be for you. Maybe I just want to spend more time with my favorite kid here,” he says with a wink towards Natalie.

 

“You’re not supposed to pick favorites, Shawsy,” Natalie says primly, but she beams at him anyway. “Shawsy even said he’d buy me hot chocolate, Daddy,” and Brandon knows that Andrew found his weak point.)

 

It’s not like it’s hard spending time with Andrew. On the contrary, the kid’s bright and energetic, like a puppy—maybe it’s a byproduct of spending all your time around elementary school kids, Brandon muses. Plus, it’s not totally unreasonable; they’re definitely friends, judging by the somewhat frequent texts they send each other, Brandon usually giving a Natalie-related update and Andrew complaining about some aspect of college.

 

The point is, the coffee becomes a thing, and they take turns paying, and Brandon needs to firmly remind himself that Andrew’s just a kid for god’s sakes because the last point is getting harder to remember between Andrew’s cocky grins and their playful banter.

 

Brandon is a 26-year-old divorced father with a child, and Andrew hasn’t even graduated college yet and is only barely legal to drink. He means to say no at some point, but he doesn’t want to say no when Andrew’s stressed about finals, and he doesn’t want to say no after when Andrew’s celebrating the end of the semester, and even when they don’t meet because of the holiday break they’re texting so much anyway it doesn’t really matter if they meet in person or not.

 

( _Help me Jonny’s bought his kid math workbooks already am I doing the parenting thing wrong_ , Brandon texts Andrew the day after Christmas. Andrew should know when a kid’s supposed to start math, being an elementary school teacher-in-training and all, right?

 

_poor kid D:_ , Andrew texts back. _i hope that wasn’t his christmas present_.

 

_It was_

_dude that’s excessive kids nat’s age should be playing outside they have the next twenty years to learn math so why take away their joy now_

Brandon finds that argument really compelling. Their texting conversation devolves into a discussion of the various Christmas presents they’ve received over the years, with Andrew winning the Most Useless Present Award with the knitting needles and yarn that his grandma sent him three years ago. Brandon is also mollified when he finds out later that Patrick made Jonny return the math workbook to “buy Lawrence a proper, awesome present instead.”)

 

Brandon can’t help but notice that the texts themselves seem to be getting…flirtier? If that’s the right way to put it. Their relationship always contained a healthy dose of friendly banter, but lately the line between bromance and romance seemed to become blurrier.

 

_what are your plans tonight_ , Andrew texted him on New Year’s Eve.

 

_Nothing exciting, putting Natalie to bed, maybe watching the apple drop before going to bed myself_ , Brandon wrote back.

 

_come out with me!! :D:D_

_Eh too tired. You young’uns can go out and have all the fun :P_

_olddddd. you’re no fun_

_Whatever, hanging out with Natalie will be plenty of fun, you’ll see._

_maybe i will ;)_

_What, are you planning on coming over tonight?_

_how else will i claim my kiss at midnight ;);)_

Brandon is a little surprised at how forward the text is. He erases six different responses that say _Just a kiss?_ , because the rational part of his brain reminds him that escalating whatever this is would be a bad idea. Eventually he settles on, _Gross, no kissing my daughter. Natalie’s too good for you._

_ouch, that hurts D:_

_The truth does hurt, doesn’t it._

Alright, so that exchange was definitely pretty flirtatious. But even _if_ Andrew’s into men, and possibly into him, Brandon’s still acutely aware that they occupy two completely different worlds. If pressed, Brandon might admit that he finds Andrew physically attractive, and that he enjoys Andrew’s brash but boisterous personality. But sexual and personal compatibility doesn’t negate the fact that Andrew’s young with plenty of options, and tying himself to Brandon right now would attach the baggage of a failed marriage and a child. If anything, Brandon’s looking for someone to bring stability to his and Natalie’s life, and Andrew—as bright and energetic and entertaining and _lovable_ as he is—is certainly not stability.

 

Brandon’s resolved to at least _attempt_ to keep things strictly platonic, except sometimes he caves and flirts back, oops. The new year rolls around, Andrew goes back to school, and they continue to get coffee every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon when Andrew’s done reading to the kids.

 

Brandon’s stayed a couple times to watch Andrew do his thing, and Natalie certainly wasn’t lying when she said that Andrew could do the voices really well. The kids are captivated by the pitches and accents Andrew adds to the story. When he pauses for dramatic effect, the kids lean into, straining to catch his next words. Andrew clearly relishes the attention, grinning dopily at his eager crowd before continuing the story.

 

(Brandon may or may not have been just as captivated as the kids in the audience, albeit for slightly different reasons, reasons that he refuses to admit to himself.)

 

But the point is that Brandon and Andrew and good friends who text a lot and meet up twice a week for coffee, so when Brandon’s ex calls at the end of January asking to meet up for dinner, it’s not surprising that the first person Brandon contacts is Andrew.

 

_You babysit right_

_yeah why_

_You busy Thursday night?_

_no just studying do you want me to babysit Natalie for you_

_Yeah that’d be great, thanks_

Brandon tells Andrew the hours that he’s needed and copies down the list of emergency contact numbers, Natalie’s food allergies, and her bedtime schedule. Brandon also attempts to figure out Andrew’s usual pay for babysitting, but Andrew is surprisingly adamant about refusing Brandon’s money considering how he’s supposed to be a poor college student. ( _a poor college student i may be but even i know that charging a bro is bad form dude_ ,” Andrew texts him.)

 

It isn’t until Andrew’s at the door that Brandon realizes he forgot to tell Andrew the reason he needed a babysitter that night. “Looking sharp,” Andrew whistles when Brandon opens the door and Andrew gives him a glance over. “What’s the occasion?”

 

“The ex is in town, wants to catch up,” Brandon explains as he fiddles with the cuffs of his dress shirt. He steps aside and Andrew steps into the foyer.

 

“Got it. The ex-wife’s all the way back from Russia, huh? She doesn’t want to see her kid?”

 

Shit. “Uh, not ex-wife, ex-boyfriend,” Brandon says somewhat hesitantly, because this isn’t how he intended to come out to Andrew. “That’s not going to be a problem, is it?”

 

Andrew a bit shocked before he visibly composing himself. “Uhm, no?” he says a bit incredulously. “I’m just surprised is all. So, uh, you’re…” he trails off somewhat uncertainly.

 

“Yeah, I’m bi,” Brandon answers for him. “Anyway, so. Natalie’s in her room playing with her dolls right now, though she says she wants you to read to her later tonight.”

 

Andrew chuckles. “You’d think she’s gotten enough of my voice by now.”

 

Brandon smiles. “Yeah, because of you all of a sudden my voice is ‘boring’ and I’m getting whines of ‘Why can’t Shawsy read my bedtime stories?’” Brandon complains. “Anyway, here, let me give you a tour of the house.”

 

It’s a good dinner, and the conversation was casual, not awkward, and Jimmy seems to be happy living in Florida. Though their breakup certainly did a number on Brandon at the time, he can honestly look back and say that it was for the better. Jimmy hadn’t been ready to handle an extra baby in the relationship when Natalie’s mom moved back to Russia, and their romantic relationship had fallen apart pretty quickly afterwards, but at least they had parted as friends and remained so through the years. By the time Brandon’s stumbling in at eleven, tipsy from the expensive wine Jimmy plied him with at dinner, Natalie’s passed out in her room while Andrew’s dozing on the sofa in front of the TV. The channel’s turned to _Keeping up with the Kardashians_ , and Brandon definitely has to remember this for chirping purposes later.

 

Brandon leans over Andrew’s sprawled form and gently shakes him awake. “Thanks,” Brandon whispers.

 

Andrew blinks blearily at him. “Yeah, no problem,” he says with a wide yawn, stretching and cracking his back before getting up. “Natalie was great. Hope you had fun.”

 

“Yeah, it was good just to catch up. Here, let me walk you out. You sure you’re not going to accept my pay?” Though he doubts Andrew’s going to change his mind, as the kid’s pretty stubborn, he has a couple of twenties tucked in his wallet just in case.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Andrew shuffles to the door, shaking his head to clear away the last dregs of drowsiness. He pauses at the doorway, turns and says, “Hey, for the record, I want make sure we’re 100% clear that I have no problem with you being bi. Considering how I’m gay, that’d be pretty hypocritical of me to judge you.” He nods at Brandon, turns back around, and heads towards his car, leaving Brandon to stare at his retreating back and process how this new tidbit of information would change anything.

 

***

 

To say Andrew is pissed would be a gross understatement. Andrew is _furious_.

 

At first, he was pretty sure Brandon was straight—or at least thought himself as straight. Andrew had definitely considered asking out Brandon outright in hopes of turning their pseudo-dates at Starbucks into real dates. He prepared countless scenarios and ways to convince Brandon that yes, a gay relationship is something he should try, especially considering how nebulous the boundaries of their friendship already were.

 

(Besides, Andrew’s pretty sure that if Brandon was a solid zero on the Kinsey scale, then he wouldn’t shut down Andrew’s pathetic attempts at flirting instead of simply dodging or even somewhat flirting back.)

 

Then Brandon has to upset all that by revealing that not only is he bi, he’s dated men before.

 

So if Brandon was also into men all along, then he shouldn’t have been blind to all subtle overtures Andrew had been making, Andrew reasoned. In which case, perhaps the reason Brandon hadn’t made a move was because he thought Andrew was straight? This argument stewed in Andrew’s head the entire night he babysat Natalie, to the point where even Natalie asked him if something was wrong, which culminated in his somewhat ungainly and awkward coming out.

 

But evidently that wasn’t the issue either because since then, they’ve been on two pseudo-coffee dates and Brandon still hasn’t done anything. _Anything_. He hasn’t even acknowledged the blatant waves of sexual tension that Andrew directs towards him.

 

So Andrew resolved that today, today was the day that he’d bring up the possibility of a relationship because dammit, he’s tired of being trapped in this limbo of not-just-friends-but-not-quite-boyfriends.

 

Only this day is not going at all as planned because Tommy decided to bring scissors to today’s reading and tried to cut Victoria’s hair, only to get punched in the face when she realized what he was about to do. He sends Tommy and Victoria to timeout in two different corners of the room and tries to maintain order in his kids but all hope is lost and none of them have the focus to pay attention to what he’s reading, no matter what vocal tricks he tries to use to engage them.

 

He’s exhausted by the time the hour’s up, but he has to stay twenty minutes after the program—ten minutes to explain Victoria’s mom why she was sent to timeout even though she wasn’t the instigator (“Because teaching your kid to punch in retaliation is definitely not appropriate?” he says somewhat hypocritically and very snarkily), and ten minutes to explain to Tommy’s dad why Andrew let Tommy get punched (“Next time tell your son not to be a fucking idiot and he won’t get punched,” Andrew wants to say, but he just barely restrains himself).

 

When Tommy’s dad finally leaves, Andrew turns to apologize to Brandon for making him wait—but Brandon’s not there. Actually, Brandon isn’t even in the room; Andrew can see Brandon through the glass walls that he’s outside talking to Jessica’s ( _single_ , an insidious voice inside him adds) mom.

 

Which normally wouldn’t a problem, and Andrew isn’t actually a possessive freak who can’t let Brandon talk to other people. But she’s looking at Brandon coyly through her eyelashes, and she’s playing with her hair, and she’s smiling at Brandon and _he’s smiling back_. Dammit, that smile—the soft one that twitches he corner of Brandon’s lips and crinkles the corner of his eyes—is _Andrew’s_ , is what Brandon does when Andrew does something particularly silly or endearing, and Jessica’s mom is bringing that smile out effortlessly in Brandon.

 

And maybe they’re not boyfriends _yet_ , but they had _something_ going on, some escalating tension that Andrew is sure wasn’t one-sided, yet Brandon clearly doesn’t care about that if he’s off responding to Jessica’s mom’s advances and—what the fuck—exchanging numbers with her now. She leans forward to show him the number on her phone screen, and Brandon leans forward too, and it looks so incredibly intimate that, fuck—

 

***

 

 “This is so great, finding a carpool buddy,” Laura says brightly as she types her number into Brandon’s phone, then shows Brandon to make sure she typed it in correctly. “Thanks again for offering to take Jessica to this reading thing. You sure you don’t want me to pick up Nat too when I come to pick up Jessica?”

 

“Nah, Brandon and his kid usually come out afterwards to grab coffee with me,” Andrew interrupts as he approaches them. His smile is tight, and he’s not looking at Brandon, choosing instead to stare down at Laura. “It’s a regular family outing, the three of us,” Andrew adds as he sidles up to Brandon, nudging him before settling his hand possessively on Brandon’s elbow and shooting Laura an almost feral grin. “Sorry to interrupt, but we should get going, shouldn’t we, Brandon?”

 

To say Brandon is bewildered would be an understatement. “Uh, yeah, we should, just let me grab Nat and we can head out,” Brandon says slowly. He turns to Laura, parts with a, “It was very nice meeting you,” and goes to pull Natalie away from the tower she’s busy constructing with the toy blocks.

 

When they sit down in the Starbucks, Natalie engrossed in the new picture book she just checked out, Brandon raises an eyebrow at Andrew and asks, “So what was that all about?”

 

Andrew shrugs noncommittally. “When you were getting Natalie, she asked me if I was your boyfriend.”

 

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

 

“Nor does it answer mine,” Andrew counters. “Are we ever going to address the elephant in the room? We go out for coffee twice a week, we text each other good night—we’re practically dating, without the sex.” Andrew stares at Brandon, hands clenched tight around his drink. “So are we?”

 

Brandon hesitates. “Look, it isn’t that simple—“

 

“But it is.”

 

Brandon tries again. “I’m twenty-six with a four-year-old child, while you’re twenty-one and in college. Natalie and I need someone stable in our lives, and I doubt you want to be tied down to someone old and boring and schedules his life around his kid’s naps and bedtimes.”

 

Andrew stares at him defiantly. “That’s a bullsh—stupid excuse, and you know it. Name one time I haven’t been there for you or Natalie. You know I love her, and I’ve babysat for her so I know what I’m getting into.”

 

The thing is, Andrew’s right: Brandon can’t think of a time Andrew’s seem bothered that he hangs out with and older guy and his child, and Andrew’s always treated Natalie with utmost care. As Brandon is coming to understand, or has perhaps understood all along, Andrew isn’t Jimmy. Andrew understands that being in a relationship with Brandon means having to share the time with his daughter, and Andrew is just as committed to and cares about Nat almost as much as Brandon is. Andrew is nothing like Jimmy, and maybe it’s time for Brandon to cast aside his insecurities and old ghosts and embrace the present.

 

But insecurities don’t disappear overnight, and Brandon needs time. He tells Andrew as much, and though Andrew looks like he wants to argue, he nods his defeat.

 

***

 

Though they parted ways agreeing to remain friends, Andrew doesn’t hear from Brandon for a couple days, which is unusual because Andrew should have received some update about the shenanigans Natalie has gotten into by now. Andrew debates breaking the radio silence on his end, but he’s pretty sure the ball’s in Brandon’s court now after he was painfully shot down in the Starbucks.

 

It stings. Like, Andrew gets that Brandon comes with the baggage of a failed _marriage_ when Andrew’s only had several college hookups, but his heart still clenches painfully when he thinks back to Brandon’s face, eyes soft as he bites down on his bottom lip and apologizes “I’m really sorry but I need _time_ ,” the it’s-not-you-it’s-me buried beneath the explanations. It’s not a no, but it’s not the yes that Andrew was expecting, because Brandon’s flirting had sounded like a yes until Thursday.

 

At least he gets the weekend to slob around in his apartment, and he chooses to spend it by induling in a tub of Ben and Jerry and trashy television—shut up Brandon, the Kardashians are a _quality show_ , and there he goes again thinking about the stupid fucker.

 

Reality television is distracting enough, and when it’s finally Tuesday the sharp stinging in his chest has faded to a dull throb. His phone still hasn’t lit up with any new messages from Brandon. Andrew chews on his lip and stares at the New Message screen for far too long before he types out _is nat coming to the library today_ and hits send before he can chicken out.

 

He can’t tell if he’d rather the answer be yes or no.

 

***

 

Though the texting slowly picked back up after a period of awkwardness when they each had to figure out the boundaries of their newly defined relationship, Brandon hasn’t invited Andrew to coffee for several weeks and Andrew hasn’t asked. Natalie did for a while, whining about why Mr. Shawzy doesn’t come with them to Starbucks the first several times they skipped their coffee arrangement, and though she doesn’t say anything about it anymore she still fixes Brandon with a forlorn look every time they leave Reading with Kids with just the two of them.

 

When it finally happens, it’s pretty uneventful. It’s a Tuesday, and Brandon’s watching Andrew wrap up the chapter of Harry Potter—the kids are riveted as Andrew describes how Harry defeats the troll, and when Andrew shuts the book with a smile, the kids clamor for more. “Sorry kiddos, I think your parents are ready to take you back, guess you’ll just have to wait until next time to find out what happens,” he says with a teasing grin over the groans and protests of, “But Mr. Shawzy!”

 

Brandon knows. Watching Andrew surrounded by kids, seeing how happy Andrew makes Natalie, Brandon knows that he’s ready. He’s done thinking about possibilities and what ifs every night. He waits for his phone to vibrate with a new text only to light up with a smile or laugh at Andrew’s ridiculous responses, he _misses_ their biweekly coffee meetings where he hears about Andrew’s antics in college, and perhaps most importantly, it’s so easy for him to picture Andrew slotting himself effortlessly into his and Natalie’s lives. It may have taken him a couple weeks, but he’s gotten his shit together—now how does he go about telling Andrew that?

 

The room clears, and Andrew leaves the room with Natalie’s tiny hand nestled in Andrew’s much larger one. Brandon smiles helplessly at the sight.

 

Taking a breath, he decides that faster is easier and simply blurts out, “Let’s do this.”

 

“What?” Andrew’s brow furrows.

 

“Let’s go out,” Brandon says. “I think I’m ready. You were right, we were practically going out anyway, so we might as well just make it official and call it a day.”

 

Andrew slowly blinks in understanding as he processes what Brandon’s saying, and then his expression of confusion melts into a stare of disbelief. “Seriously? That’s romantic,” Andrew snorts. “And here I was, preparing an _epic_ speech, with big bouquets of flowers and moonlit serenades to convince you how I’m the right one and how what we have is worth fighting for, and you’re just all like, ‘We might as well go out.’” His tone is dripping with _what the fuck is this idiot doing_ , but that’s presumably unvoiced because of the little child beside him.

 

Brandon raises his eyebrows. “You want me to argue with you and make things more difficult? This is so much drama and our relationship’s just begun.”

 

“Maybe I just wanted to give a grand romantic gesture to win you over,” Andrew says, his tone childish and challenging as he crosses his arms. With Natalie beside him, it’s an adorable sight.

 

Brandon smiles softly. “Maybe that’s unnecessary because you already have.”

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Jace for being willing to beta and give feedback amidst his crazy Black Friday shopping.


End file.
